hearts in bloom

i opened my eyes to a wonderful day

spring time comes and the sadness fades away

smiles everywhere, it's a joyful celebration.

So i stepped out of my world with no hesitation.

i was walking past a field of flowers in bloom.

it was like i opened a door to one of heaven's room

oh, what a sight to see! all colors from red, yellow and blue

but nothing compares to the moment i saw you

Sitting by the sea of wonderful creations

your exquisite beauty captured my attention

Time has stopped and my heart started racing

And in my head, i could hear a choir of angels singing

Genuine happiness exudes from your presence alone

and your face can light up a room out on your own

your smile is enough to melt my heart away

This is turning out to be one memorable day

Even with everyone around you, you stand out in the crowd

My head keeps spinning. It's screaming out loud

what should i do? oh heavens please give me a sign.

I am hoping that someday i can make you mine.

but alas, i can only admire you from afar.

i can't seem to move, my mind and body is at war

I'm building up the courage, I've never been this intimidated

Because I'm scared these feelings won't be reciprocated.

Soon the colors will fade and the flowers will wither

but memories will remain and your face i will remember

now every time spring comes and all the flowers bloom,

all i can think of and all i see is you...

Author's note:

- this entry started out as something about the flowers in spring time... and maybe a little bit about love. but it ended more bout love than flowers. I wrote it in parts for about 3 days so the initial ideas were gone by the third day, that's why it turned out to be more about love and all.

-the flower is called "bleeding heart" (oh the irony.. hehe) (aka Dicentra Spectabilis).

-it would be awesome to grow that flower here.
 
-edited most of the lines before i posted this. had to tone down the "cheeeesy-ness" (i know it's not a real word, but for my lack of a better term, lets stick with it.) I mean, i don't have anything against getting a little too mushy or whatever you call it, i'm just trying to avoid any comments like "ang corny mo!" hahahahah

Hitting rock bottom.

March 7, 2011:

[Sigh.....]

So I've been having one of the lowest point in my 23 years of existence. You know... when everything seems so fucked up. Almost everything is at a loss. Nothing seems to be going right.... career... love... life...


Man... Life clearly has a sick and twisted sense of humor... and I'm not laughing...

Why is this happening to me? karma? Fuck it! I don't deserve this shit. I've done some cruel things but I definitely had may fairly charitable moments towards others.


Okay... Maybe I'm just angry at the moment.... angry with life... The fact is, I don't have any one to blame... No one.. except me... Lol. Shit happens... And apparently, it happens wayyyyyyyyy more than "a lot" to me. I hate it, but i have to deal with it. I need to get my life back on track.


Gonna apply for a new job soon. Hopefully within a week or so. I need to act like the overly-confident pompous ass that i used to play so i can get a decent job. And yes, it works. Based on experience, pretending like you're a pro at what you're applying for definitely helps.

So there... I've hit rock bottom.... but i don't plan to stay in this rut for long.

It's funny how i found a little bit of comfort in eating FISHBALL. yep! fishballs! It may seem so dull and underwhelming to find comfort in a street food. but i did. It made me smile.

I remember when i was just a little boy... It was already great for me if i get to eat fishballs for the day. Dadaan si manong magtutulak ng fishball at hihingi ako ng pera sa nanay ko para lang makabili ng fishball. Kailangan ko pang magpacute nun para lang pumayag na kumain ako ng fishball. Ok na yung limang piso tapos sobrang swerte na kung sampung piso ibibigay. SOLB!!!! haha!

We all took simple pleasures in life for granted when we were young. I just now realized that i would eventually find comfort in it now that i'm an adult. Nakakatawa din namang isipin na buti pa ang fishball, singkwenta sentimos pa rin ang isa at mabubusog ka na sa halagang limang piso. Buti pa ang FISHBALL! ^_^

Anyway... Asan na ba ko??? ayun... Rock bottom.. Basta... I'll eventually get my life on track.. soon! pero for now... Kuyang fishball!! asan ka na? pabili ako ng limang pisong fishball tapos paluto na rin ng kikiam! gusto ko tustado! hahahaha



UPDATE!!!!!:

I'm almost done with one of my websites... few more days and i can already pass my resume. Magtuturo na naman po akoOOOOoo!!! hehehe

And i'm happier now. less stressed... less complicated. nakakatulog na ulet ako ng ayos. wala ng gumugulo sa utak ko. wala ng gaanong problemang iniisip. hindi ko na kasi sya kailangan isipin. ayun yun e! wahahaha. peace! bati naman tayo e. ^_^

oh yea.. took down some of my entries. lol. di na kelangan.. di rin naman ata nya nabasa e. haha. i don't mind though... marami naman nagsabi sakin na ang sweet ko naman daw. lol. pampalubag loob na rin. whaahha. amf. sayang naman yung regalo ko. hahaha

here's the face of someone who just hit rock bottom: