How can i be so happy and scared at the same time? Damn it! LOVE... Love love love.... So pure yet so evil... Hahaha! It's driving me nuts... It's crazy... I'm crazy... damn it.... Lol.
Can't say that i hate this feeling... I mean i'm damn happy for crying out loud.... I've never been this happy... I guess that's why it scares me... Being in this euphoric state... Feeling like i can do anything.. like i can finally have everything i ever wanted... It feels damn nice... Im high on happy pills!
but.... Here comes the "but"... Sorry.. Force of habit... I know i should stop worrying.. But i can't help it... This is me... As much as i want to suppress that damn negative side... It is still here to haunt my new found happiness... I cant help but think about whether this "happiness high" would eventually end... And it scares me...
it's already a bit complicated as it is.. okay, maybe not really complicated... i mean i do understand the situation that i am in.. i guess i'm looking at it at another perspective or at least im trying to understand why people see it as complicated... It's is quite simple actually... I am in love.. And i'm being loved... easy, right? i should really stop being so mental... Hehe. Damn it... I'm babbling... i don't even know if im making sense.. maybe i am... It's just that i'm not exactly writing all the details.. that's why it seems like im just rambling... Haha.
Man.. This is insane... Where art thou my dear sanity... insanity is taking over me... Hahaha.
I really am just babbling, aren't i? I'm typing this while im waiting for my special someone... This is why i should never be alone.. I become this crazy guy that thinks about everything. Haha. See... im crazy.. Im having a damn conversation with myself in my head. Lol.
Crap... Babbling... I should stop now... Haha
Anyway, back to my point... What was i writing about again? Oh... Happy and scared at the same time...
Ok.. Im happy (duh.. Obviously)...
i guess i'm scared that it might end... I'm already head over heels in love and i'm scared that i would end up screwing things.. I can be a total screw up sometimes... An idiot... A fool... Im trying to be better.. Would that be enough to make this last??? I don't know.. I mean who knows... But i hope it lasts... I want it to last... I'll make it last...
I should stop now... I'm rambling in my head again...
hayyyy.. hello my dear blog... And to all my imaginary readers... til next time ^_^
music is my company, art is my friend. intellect is my sword, perseverance is my armor, life is my biggest competition.. love...... will be my greatest victory...
No comments:
Post a Comment